


Flowers in my Lungs for You

by AntisocialFool_05



Category: Persona 5
Genre: AKIRA KURUSU IS A BIG STUPID, Akira is an idiot in love, Angst and Humor, Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecurity, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Multi, Multiple Endings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamorous Character, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-12-24 16:33:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21102542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntisocialFool_05/pseuds/AntisocialFool_05
Summary: Was it possible for one boy to fall in love with seven different people?Yes it was, and Akira was living proof.His love for them may kill him, Literary[Hanahaki Disease AU]





	1. Liar, Liar

**Author's Note:**

> This sucks.

They're beautiful, such brightly color petals. it's a shame that the petals are covered in blood.

Akira Kurusu stared down the petals, as he hovered over the toilet with blood dripping from his mouth. the stall has been covered in seven different types of petals, Akira's belongs which has fallen over everything and his own blood. Akira sighed, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, blinking away the tears that threaten to fall. the raven stood up, picking petal that was around him (_seventeen petals, not like Akira counted._) Akira cleans up the blood in the stall and flushed the toilet. Akira walked out of the stall and headed to the sink, washing the blood off his hands and attempting to get rid of the metallic taste in his mouth, and the lump in his throat

The metallic went, but the Lump in his throat remained. Akira didn't try a second time to get rid of it, a simple sigh of disappointment escaped his lips. Akira glanced at himself in the mirror, the foundation he put on his skin was still on, making it look like Akira has actually eaten, and gotten some shut-eye. Akira shook his head and headed out of the bathroom, looking down the school hallway. the raven took a deep breath, and a small wheeze fell out. the flowers in his throats always made it difficult to breathe.

It sucks, a lot.

Akira Kurusu has the Hanahaki Disease, and it sucks.

Akira isn't in love with one, nor two, but _seven_ different people, whom all had completely different personalities too. How Akira managed to fall for seven people is a mystery and one that may very well be the cause of his death. It is really Akira's own fault, one else but him to blame for the Flowers in his throat.

it's only been a few months since Akira's been coughing flowers, no one suspects anything too. Akira panicked really bad when he coughed up the first petal, and it was only a couple of days into his probation. the first petal was a Yellow orchid, and it was right after Ryuji and he exchanged numbers. it wasn't a surprise to Akira when he fell for Ryuji...Ryuji was the first one to actually acknowledge Akira other than a troubled kid, a criminal.

The petals, on the other hand, came as a surprise. Akira has heard of the Hanahaki disease, even lost a friend to it...Akira wanted to deny it, Akira didn't like Ryuji, that maybe the petal Accidentally flew into his mouth (_a stupid lie, but Akira believed it, for a while_). Akira tried to deny it, but after spending a whole evening trying to cough up three yellow petals after witnessing Ryuji's awakening made it difficult to deny anymore.

Akira's first thought was maybe he should tell Ryuji, in hope Ryuji would...cure him. that plan immediately flew out the window when Akira watched Ryuji make a face at two men in public holding hands. Akira didn't have to ask Ryuji what he thought of same-sex relationships after witnessing the disgust on his face, but _hoo boy_ if it didn't break Akira

by the end of the deadline for Kamoshida and after his arrest, Akira was already coughing up another petal, an Amaryllis. Akira already got used to the lump in his throat, so he didn't notice when the lump grew when he hung out with Ann Takamaki until Akira was coughing during one of Ann's photo-shoot, watching her smile brightly...Akira didn't realize what the weird feeling he had until he was in an alleyway, coughing bright red petals with a mixture of his blood. Akira knew he felt so proud when Ann said she didn't want to be Mika's enemy, but simply friends in competition, a frenemy. Akira knew he was proud of Ann managing to not get riled up by Mika that shoot, but he didn't realize he was also falling...

by then, Akira was struggling to breathe in his sleep.

Being a victim of the Hanahaki disease made everything much more difficult, especially when Akira was acting as a phantom thief. Joker's moves were slower, made less damaged than the others. Ryuji, Morgana, and Ann asked, but Akira simply lied (_"I have low stamina"_) and that's all it took for them to never mention it again. Thankfully, Akira found a solution. the drug "BEAD" doesn't just heal open wounds, it heals _everything._ it was amazing to finally breathe properly, to actually make a dent in the shadow's health and not hold his team back, but it only lasts an hour before Akira has to heal himself.

its a shame BEAD is such a rare drug, and a shame Akira cant use it outside the Metaverse.

the fourth and fifth petals came at the same time, or really Akira coughed them up at the same time. The fourth was a Blue aster, and the fifth a Gladiolus. If Akira had to pinpoint the moment he fell for the owners of the petals...He'd say right after Yusuke and he went on that boat ride...Akira tried not thinking how good Yusuke looks in the golden sunset... for...Makoto...may be her awakening. (_seriously...Makoto could hit Akira, and Akira would thank her..)_

at this point, Akira realized bad he was getting. Akira was getting less sleep, he spent most of the nights shoving his face in his pillow to muffle his coughs, trying not to wake up Morgana. eating was beginning to hurt too, each time he swallowed food, it felt like thorns in his throat. Akira had to resort to eating a small amount of food as possible, without worrying his friends with how little he was eating. Sojiro's curry was bearable...as long as Akira ate it in small proportions.

The fifth Flower was an Asphodel, and maybe the very first crush Akira wishes he never had. the fool began coughing up a pure white flower after Akechi Goro and he had a chess game. Akira knew what made him fall, it was just the way Akechi seemed to let his mask falter around Akira. it made Akira feel weird, knowing Akechi felt safe around Akira, safe enough that Akechi could be genuine.

The Sixth Flower was called A Lily of the valley. Akira was rather worried, for the flower was poisonous..but it didn't harm him, maybe because it was drench in Akira's blood.

Akira coughed the petal after the trip to the beach, and that whole trip was awful. Akira was coughing the whole time, from witnessing his <strike>future lovers</strike> Friends in swimsuits, then having to watch Ryuji and Yusuke (_Failing to)_ hit on Girls at the beach. Akira spent nearly the whole trip painfully coughing. at the end of the trip, Akira couldn't help but feel excited, when Futaba join their team, _officially_ joined. it was only on their way back did Akira start coughing, and a petal he hasn't seen before was on his palm

_(they were sitting down on the subway when Akira coughed up the petal. "what's that?" Futaba asked, looking at the petal in Akira's hand. Akira turns to her, she was close, too close- "oh, I work part-time at a flower shop...Petals always manage to get in my clothes..." Akira lied, and Futaba hummed and smiled, the beginning to ramble about a new game she wanted. Akira knew he was screwed when he couldn't help to smile at Futaba...boss isn't going to show any mercy if he knew..)_

It was then Morgana finally asked what was wrong, Why Akira was coughing so much and why Akira was so pale, so skinny. Akira managed to come up with a lie- an excuse. (_"I think I'm getting sick.."_) sadly that excuse made Morgana worry more, it only took a week off of school for Morgana to stop worrying about Akira. The wildcard had to go buy foundation his tone, or well, what he had been before he started coughing flowers, and for his weight...Akira had to sneak downstairs when Morgana was asleep at night to eat, just an attempt to gain weight.

the last, Seventh flower was a Magnolia, and belong to a beauty thief. Akira was just helping Haru with her garden one afternoon, taking a day off from infiltrating Okumura's palace. Haru was speaking of wanting to open a cafe again, Akira joked about how the two of them can make a grand opening between Yongen. Haru had the biggest smile on her face, as she happily giggled and said she loved that. Akira smiled and...He went into a coughing fit and there it was a Magnolia petal. Haru didn't ask, or she didn't notice. (_well..it was pretty normal for Akira to go into a coughing fit..._)

Each petal meant something different but always had two things in common; each petal representing a love for someone, and each petal was killing Akira. Akira knows he's screwed, he knows is an idiot, and he's scared. Akira never thought his life would be cut so short, even when fighting shadows Akira knows he's going to see tomorrow..but with Hanahaki, each day was a struggle to breathe. Its scaring Akira too, knowing that one of these days, Akira will be coughing Petals again, and not get enough air.

Its terrifying and Akira can't tell anyone. Akira knows he should, he knows he needs to tell someone, anyone that Akira might not live to see next year...He cants although. Its Akira who worries, it Akira who helps them, not the other way around. Akira has been lying for months, and those lies are slowly fading as Akira gets worst each day. each smile his friends give him, each time they touch him, it always results in Akira in the bathroom coughing petals up.

Akira did think of getting the flower's removed, but that idea went out the window quickly...Akira...Akira knows its selfish of him, but he doesn't want to lose his feelings for his friends, it probably idiotic of him..still hoping that they might love him too. there's also that fear..he may forget them, or may never love again..Akira..cant, never loving was one thing, but losing all memories of his friends? Akira may very well die if it meant he can remember his friends.

thankfully for the Metaverse, Akira may be able to live up to the end of this year...if he's lucky, and doesn't fall for anyone else.....

"Yo! Akira!"

the sudden shout made the raven jump, looking up to see Ryuji waving at him, by him is Ann, Makoto, and Haru. oh, _oh._ Akira forgot he called for his team to head into the Metaverse earlier, that was until Ann complimented him ("_you have a good heart, you know?"_)

Akira gulp, shoving any negative emotion down. Akira waved back, placing a forced smile onto his face. Morgana pops his head out from Ann's bag "what took you so long?" Morgana asked. Akira bit the inside of his cheek "Kawakami needed something" Akira lied.

Makoto hummed "she did?" Makoto asked, "what did she need". Akira was about to lie again, Ann spoke up before him "oh, we should hurry, Futaba and Yusuke are already there" Ann said, Akira just barely noticed she had her phone in her hand. Ryuji sighed, stretching one of his arms "alright, let's go!" Ryuji yelled, then he turns around and walked out the door before anyone could respond, ' _he must be fired__ up..' _Akira thought, a small smile forming onto his face.

"eh! hold on!" Ann exclaimed, then She ran after Ryuji. the group watches the two leave, Makoto let out a long, tired sigh. Makoto shook her head, following after them. Akira turns his attention to Haru, as she began giggling "I'm so glad" Haru suddenly said, then froze. Akira blink, looking at her. "huh?" Akira asked, why was Haru glad..not that its a bad thing.

Haru gave a sheepish smile "oh, I'm sorry... I accidentally said that out loud.." Haru apologizes "I'm just happy I'm friends with them" Haru exclaimed, That made Akira chuckle a little. "-and I'm so happy to be friends with you!" Haru said before the two of them can hear a shout of Ryuji "hurry up! slowpokes!"

"We should hurry up," Haru said before she turns to leave

Akira was left behind, staring after her with a face full of red. suddenly, Akira went into a coughing fit, and a bloody Magnolia was on his hand. Akira frown, shaking his head as he went to go catch

Akira can't tell them, and he might as well take this secret to the grave...maybe he can tell his friends to put a Linaria Bipartita on his grave? 


	2. Trouble, trouble.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okumura's Deadline is coming up, Akira is an idiot, and the Phantom thieves are starting to worry for their Leader
> 
> then a big oops happened, and now everyone knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning???Akira??gets??hurt??Badly??

  
"Alright! all shadows eliminated!" Oracle shouted after the enemy dissolved into nothing. Joker sighed, running a hand threw his hair awhile everyone got themselves together.

Skull groan loudly, joker attention went to him immediately briefly wondering if he was seriously injured or not. skull seemed to notice Joker's worry gaze and quickly shook his head, awhile he rubs his shoulder from where he got hit "this is cheatin'..." Skull grumbled "its totally impossible to ambush a shadow..we got nothin' to hide behind!" skull complaint, for the seventh time since they enter the space transfer lines

Joker gave a half-smile to the blonde, awhile Mona and Panther went to heal everyone up. Joker walked over to the switch, pulling one of them down and the other went up. His team chatter behind him, Joker pulled out his phone, the map updating him on what lines he opened up and what didn't. it never bothers Joker much that he did most of the work during these palace infiltration's, he is the leader, after all, he has no right to complain.

the main transfer line Joker needed open up, _finally. _joker let out a sigh of relief, it was a pain figuring this..puzzle out.

Suddenly, Joker felt something on his shoulder. Joker blinked, tensing up a bit and glance to his left. Panther hummed, hanging off his shoulder and looking at the map on Joker's phone. "Oh! the line opened?" Panther asked, _and leaned in more "_Nice!" she said with a big smile, joker swear he felt his heart pause for a moment

The wildcard felt another presence to his right, looking over was fox. Fox had his arms crossed and leaning down his space. Fox hummed with his eyes closed, Joker had to look away from both thieves and only at his phone with a heated face..its not his fault...seriously...the two _need _to cover their chest.. joker barley manage to hide a choked cough when Fox's hand brushed over jokers to zoom in on the map. "I see...Good job, Joker" Fox said, with a half-smile. Joker felt bit his tongue to stop a goofy smile appearing on his face, feeling like the puzzle more like a victory after the two thieves complimented him.

Joker was about to respond when he felt the sudden urge to cough. joker's emotion quickly went from cheerful to dreadful, the lump had been in his throat for a good few minutes, and he didn't even notice until now. Joker quickly covered his mouth, already trying to surpass a painful cough.

Joker hated how he felt the mood drop. Panther sighed and began rubbing his back as Joker went into a coughing fit, unaware how she was making it worse. the rest of the group behind him either sighed or groan. "seriously?" Oracle muttered, appearing in front of Joker's vision. "you should really get this check, Joker," Oracle stated "this can't be normal"

the coughing made it difficult to talk, so Joker waved his hand at her and shook his head but it didn't really convince his friends. Joker felt sick when he felt the familiar metallic taste in his mouth. "i-" joker huffed" Its-" Joker coughed "fine" he finally managed to say. Queen made a noise of disagreement, "this honestly can't, Having low Stamina cant cause such dramatic coughing fits, you were fine a minute ago as well" Queen protest.

Joker's heart stopped for a moment, _are....are they figuring him out..?_ Joker couldn't respond as the lump grew, making it difficult to breathe. "not to mention you always coughing at night..even in your sleep" Mona added, which was not helpful to Jo- wait.

Joker glanced at him, M_ona knew? _Joker made so sure Morgana was sleeping during those fits at night...but Morgana says when he _sleeps_...so does Akira spend his time unconscious coughing too...that would make sense on how those red stains somehow get on his pillow..(Akira is thankful for getting a dark red pillow sheet, so it just looks like he drooled, instead of actual blood)

"Eh? He does?" Noir asked, and suddenly appearing in front of joker's vision "how come you never mention this to us, joker?" Noir mumbled and glanced down. it made Joker's heart hurt a bit, he doesn't want to see Noir sad, and he really doesn't want to be the cause of it. Joker didn't respond, instead, turn to his side away from everyone. he's too busy trying to catch his breath as he can finally breathe. Joker clench on to whatever bloody petal he held tightly in his fist.

"Its..fine, " joker mumbled. when joker turns to meet their gaze finally, and he was met with Panic. "Akir- You have blood-" Queen exclaimed, Her eyes widen beyond her mask. Joker blinked, then realized

Joker felt something drip down his chin, when he touched it with his fingers and glanced at gloves he wore, on it was red, but a much darker on than his gloves

_shit, _his blood.

"d-did you cough up...blood?" Fox asked, Fox was acting calm but there was a clear panic in his voice. "but the shadow didn't land a blow on you and you're at full health!" Mona Shouted, he was clearly on the verge of panicking, and unlike all the other situations, joker didn't know what to do...

Joker glanced away from them, as he wiped his mouth fully awhile trying to think of an excuse. "its..fine....its normal.." Joker murmured, refusing to meet their gaze. Joker sighed and quickly got himself together "we..should really hurry to the next are-"

"eh,eh,eh,eh,eh!" Oracle shouted, putting both of her hands in front of Joker "d-d-don't you dare try and..and change the subject!" Oracle yelled, and Joker can tell her hands are shaking...Joker bit his lip, they shouldn't worry for him.. "Guys.." Joker whispered (<strike>_maybe I should tell them..?_</strike>) joker shook his head " We can talk about this later..the palace is more important" Joker said, wanting nothing more than to get the topic off of him

when Joker muster the courage to look at them, each had a face of disbelief and shock. Joker wonder if he said anything wrong

joker didn't say anything wrong, His team didn't need to worry, Akira isn't That Important

_He never was._

Suddenly, the alarm of a shift change alerting them. all of them glanced at each other until Queen spoke up "We have to go before they mess up the transfer lines, again" Queen Announced. They all glanced at Joker, with odd looks that joker couldn't quite figure out- yet. Joker nodded "alright, let's go." Joker Said, walking to the transfer line without another comment.

Right as the went into one of the transfer lines, Joker used a BEAD, it felt good to breathe properly.

**⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱**

"Welcome back" the Nav announced from Akira's phone. Everyone looked so exhausted from only a 2 hour trip to the metaverse (_they usually spend three hours in the Metaverse..._) Akira sighed, turning to Futaba, who already looked like she was going to pass out any moment. "Ugh...we found the treasure," Ryuji grumbled, then like a switch, he looks wide awake " so when are we sending the calling card?" Ryuji asked, just thinking about fighting made Akira feel even more exhausted.

Ann groan, her shoulders slump against the wall "how are you so...energetic?"

"Well, Ryuji didn't fight in many battles," Morgana said, and Akira can already hear the insult " so it'd make sense because he left all the hard work to us" Morgana piped out from Akira's bag, and not a minute later Akira felt Morgana's paws digging into his shoulders.

Before Ryuji and Morgana start another fight, Akira spoke "you weren't either, Mona" Akira mutters. Morgana made an odd noise and Ryuji snorted ('_Ha!_'). Akira sighed, ever since that awful fight, Akira had to do a lot of changes between the two. the tension was high, but it was going down by the day.

Akira still trying to make these two idiots get along..which is really difficult during a Palace infiltration.

beside Akira, Makoto sighed, brushing some of her hair out of her face "i...believe the calling card can be hold off, for now, we still have 13 days before the deadline" Makoto calmly said, and glancing at Haru. Haru hummed and nodded "Surely it wouldn't hurt to take a day off?" Haru asked as she turns her gaze to Akira, asking for permission

Akira really doesn't, the faster Okumura's heart is changed, the quicker Akira can ensure that Haru will be safe from that bastard...but Akira has a hard time saying no to his team, so instead Akira nodded "if that's what you want" Akira responded

Ann quietly whispers "Yes!" and does a quiet victory, It made Akira smiled until someone grips his arm making Akira jump. Akira looked down to see Futaba staring at him "come on...Aki....home" Futaba murmured, yawning.

Akira felt his heart flutter - and the urge to cough...the bead is wearying off-. Akira gulp, and nodded quickly "we..should-uh, hurry back," Akira said, looking at his friends. suddenly, Akira's mind brought up a memory of earlier, sending him into a slight panic when he remembers what happened at the Transfer lines..._did they forget..?_ it was possible they did, and god, Akira hopes they forgot

Haru hummed "its rather late, please get back safe," Haru said, already turning her body to the Okumura building. Akira nodded "sleep well" Akira bid his farewell.

Everyone said their goodnight to Haru, Akira watched Haru enter the building as everyone already began walking. Akira always dislikes the fact she lived in the Okumura industries building, another reason why Akira wanted to change Okumura's heart as quick as possible (_Akira can't protect her in there..._)

after Haru went in, Akira barely noticed Futaba until Futaba stuffed her face into his arm "She not going to be able to walk home.." Morgana said from his bad, and Akira agreed. Akira gulp and turn to Futaba "do....you want me to carry you?" Akira asked, his mind yelling for Futaba to (<strike>_deny_</strike>) accept. as Morgana said, there was no way Futaba was going to get home when she's this tired.

Futaba didn't respond for a minute, then hummed. she lifted her arms, as a young child would. Akira couldn't help to let a chuckle escape his lips, he took the bag that had Morgana and slip it onto Futaba arm, "oh, Great" Morgana mumbled sarcastically

Akira noted to himself to give Morgana an apology later,...or Sushi.

"he-here, h-hop on my back" Akira said, putting his back to Futaba and awkwardly crouching. Futaba listened to him, her thin legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulder. Akira heart was fast when he held Futaba by her thigh, Akira wasn't sure he can make it ho- Akira realized, this wasn't good, for he noticed it was a bit difficult to breathe, and Futaba was holding him that tight..

The lump was small, but it was growing...

Akira did his best to ignore the aching pain he had when he went to catch up with the rest. "Hey," Ann said when she saw him " how come Futaba gets a piggyback ride?" Ann pouted. Akira smiled, his heart hammering way too hard in his chest it almost hurt due to Futaba breathing on his neck. Akira knew she was already passed out from the way her breathing felt.

Makoto bumped in, saving Akira like always. "Well, Futaba did keep using that new protection skill... I guess it wore her batteries out"

"We gotta tell her to not use that skill so much" Morgana mumbled, pipping out from the bag Futaba had. Akira hummed, maybe he should bribe Futaba to stop her from using that Move...maybe get her that Featherman figure she wants?

Akira barley Noticed Ryuji slowing down so he can walk beside him until Ryuji spoke: "does this mean if we use up all our energy, you'll carry us too?" Ryuji tease, hitting Akira's shoulder with his elbow slightly. Akira turns to him and blink, _wha-__ oh_ his face heated up of just thinking of carrying his friends...bridal style..._oh no no n-_

"U-uhm..yeah I g-guess" Akira stuttered out. He looked away from Ryuji, as he heard the blonde chuckled.

It was getting harder to breathe by the minute, Akira might not make it home in time...

Yusuke sighed, and mumbled something Akira couldn't quite hear. "let us not work our leader any more than we do, I'm sure you can carry your own weight? Cant you?" Yusuke asked, with a mixture of teasing, and genuine concern. Ann giggled "ha!" Ann exclaimed, pointing at Ryuji, Akira can hear Morgana laughing behind him. Ryuji stuttered, "what's that suppose to mean?!" Ryuji shouted, then turn to Ann "and why are you laughing?" Ryuji grumbled bitterly.

Akira didn't understand too, Akira doesn't mind carrying Ryuji at all. Makoto sighed, rubbing her temples. Akira looked at her and gave her a half-smile as he walked faster to talk with her "you know, you should enjoy this" Akira said, catching her attention.

Makoto Jumped, she gave him an odd look "them...fighting I should enjoy?" Makoto asked, and brought her hand up to her chin as if Akira gave her a riddle just now

Akira chuckled, "they're not fighting," Akira said, and Makoto looked even more confused "there are many ways to show affection," Akira said, and glance behind him where the three of them were arguing, and Morgana at some joined.

"This is just one of the many forms" Akira finally finished. Makoto had a blank expression then it fell into a soft smile. "I guess your right" Makoto mumbled "I guess I'm just used to the way you and I show affection "

_..what_

_what?_

Akira's eyes widen and a blush fell across his face, he abruptly turns to Makoto. _me and her..show...affectio-_

"What?" he blurted out.

Makoto hummed, and a minute later her face redden a bit "o-oh," she said, and looked away "I mean for the fake dating"

Akira looked at her and quickly nodded, "I see" he whispered and glancing away.

if only her affection was as real as Akira affection...

...

_... Akira can't breathe_

**⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱**

Akira was having a crisis

Akira didn't have any more BEADS, and he was panicking

this was a crisis.

Akira sat on his couch in the quiet, dusty attic, and he throwing item after item out of his bag in search of a BEAD. Akira had_ great_ luck, and to his luck, there was not even trace of a BEAD. Akira begged to whatever god that is listening to magically put a BEAD in his bag.....Akira was so sure he had one more...!

After the eighth time of checking his bag, Akira gave up.

_'This isn't good...how am I suppose to take Okumura down when I can't breathe_?' Akira thought, hitting his head against the back-pillow. Akira slightly cursed himself, he was so frustrated he might cry...he needs one of those drugs.....Just one..!

Akira groan, falling down on the couch and stared into the ceiling "Why does God hate me....first I fall in love, get Hanahaki, and I don't even have any Beads..!" Akira cried, quietly talking to himself and hit the back of his head a couple of times against the Couch

Akira was really grateful for Morgana not being here to see how pathetic Akira was being...

The room was dark, not even the sun was up. Akira gave up on sleeping along time ago, his throat hurts too much to sleep...... It was probably 4 AM or 5....last night after Akira made sure all his friends got back safely... Akira managed to get Futaba back into her room without running into Sojiro, and manage to get Morgana to stay with her to make sure she eats later... so Akira can cough up the petals that his friends caused without Morgana worrying.

Akira was indeed planning on actually hanging out with one of his confidants like he told Morgana he was going to but...he needs BEAD..he was planning on sending the calling card tomorrow too...

Akira cursed, he needs a BEAD, if Akira wants to be useful.

Maybe he can ask his team to go to mementos today...they don't have any targets although- _shit_\- Akira forgot they agree to have a rest day...there is no way Akira is asking them now, it would be selfish of Akira to ask them..well,Akira.._could _go _alone..._it's a stupid idea...although..he's done it before...but that was only when Futaba wanted to take down her uncle...and he managed to take him down alone Perfectly fine...

It was still early....if Akira hurries and gives no mercy, he can be done by..7...?

It was risky, sure. _Although_...if no one knows, and Akira never speaks of it, then it never happened? Right?

Akira nodded to himself, _'ill be fine" _he thought as he grabbed his bag, shoving his model gun and knife in the bag. Akira wonders for a minute thinking if he should take any medicine, but deciding no, Akira can just use Dia if he's injured, plus he needs to save the medicine for his team.

fortunately, Sojiro wasn't here yet, so Akira didn't have any issue slipping out Leblanc.

as Akira made his way to the subway, his mind wanders to his team..he doubts anyone wants to hang out today...so Akira didn't have any second thoughts when he activated the Nav.

**⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱**

...Maybe Akira should have second thoughts about this. it was...difficult, Without proper rest, Without his team, and without a BEAD, the enemy was a lot stronger...a lot stronger.

Joker was panting, and very lightheaded after a battle with three obariyon's,joker felt pathei- A_kira felt patheti_c. Joker cursed, pushing himself off the wall and took another deep breath. Obaryiyon's supposed to be easy, Instead, Joker nearly lost his life to one of those...small things...

it was sad, but This was even more of a reason why he needed a bead..there is no way Joker is going to last a second with whatever fight Okumura puts up.  
_(If Akira learned anything from the effects of sending a calling card, is the palace ruler won't go down without a fight._)

Joker let out a quiet groan, pulling out a life stone he picked up earlier and crushed it. Joker felt a rush of energy run there his body, and the aching pain from his arm gone, but not the Lump. Joker shook his head, he needs to focus. The first few steps were difficult, joker was still somewhat light-headed.

His body aches from last night infiltration, his legs were sore which result in him having to use the wall for balance, and his inability to breathe made everything after a battle fuzzy. ...Maybe joker should have at least as Morgana to come along...without Mona, mementos was a lot difficult to get threw, and weak shadows think they can take joker down just because he's tried, and alone

Weak shadows are...half right.

Joker shook his head, this is no time to complain, he needs to get this done before anyone notices he's gone.

It was quiet in mementos, without his team and the sound of a purring engine, mementos was completely quiet. Joker's steps sounded too loud, even his breathing was loud. it was quiet, except for the occasional groans from the shadows. it was creepy being here alone, Even his persona's were crept out for not a single one was speaking to Jo-

'_Young Thief_'

all his persona expect for Arsene

Joker let out a tired sigh, he didn't bother responding to the voice inside his head, or even acknowledging Arsene. Arsene has been trying to talk him out of this mission the moment Joker entered mementos Alone. Joker loves his persona, Arsene is his other half...but god, Arsene has been bickering with him to the point where Joker doesn't even want to talk with him.

Thankfully joker's other masks know better than to get between an argument between Arsene and joker

_'Young thief!_

"What do you want now?" Joker asked bitterly, wincing at how loud his voice was.

joker can hear Arsene let out a sigh '_I believe you should return to your world, you are in no shape whats so ever to brawl_' Arsene replied, there was a mix of genuine concern and annoyance in his voice. joker rolled his eyes as he turns a corner, a shadow eyes caught onto him, and immediately scrambled _'at least this one knows bette_r ' joker thought. .."You've said that earlier" joker responded, with a tried sigh after

_'yes, and my point still stands_' Arsene bitterly replied, Joker sighed, he understands why Arsene is so worried, but he doesn't have to, joker can take care of himself...."Arsene, I really don't need your complaints at this moment" joker muttered as he walked down the quiet subway, he couldn't quite see Arsene so joker just stared bitterly at the floor.

_'I'm speaking behalf of your masks, joker"_

joker paused for a moment, tilting his head and squinting at the railroads "I'm sorry?"

"_Us, persona, are tried, even we need rest_," Arsene said, and Joker can hear other personas agree...so...that's why they wanted to go back, joker felt guilt take over his emotions, he should have paid more attention to his persona...Joker bit his lip and glanced around..he can't go back...he needs a BEAD, Joker needs to be prepared for the calling card, he doesn't want to be useless, but then he wants his persona to have proper rest...joker sighed, glancing at the knife he held tightly

"Fine, i understand" Joker murmur, as he summons his gun and held it in his other hand, and continues walking down the endless subway.

"Fin- I beg your pardon?"

"I'll just use my knife and gun..."

_'... I knew you were reckless, but not stupid_" Arsene grumbled, then there was a shift in Arsene mood, Panic, joker felt it. '_Joker! Look o-'_

all of a sudden, Something sharp hit joker's back. Joker cried in pain as he fell forward, his back burning in Pain. '_wh- did a shadow sneak up on m-!?" _joker Mind was scrambled, he couldn't focus, not with the Intense pain. Joker turns his head, of course, its a shadow and a weak one no less! Joker crawled away from the Shadow as it dissolved into two Eligor's

'_What did I tell you!_' Arsene shouted in his mind. Joker was all prepared to summon Arsene when he realized he can't, his personas are tried- Joker was panicking, he can't breathe, his gun is too far to reach, he's exhausted an-. Arsene is right, he's in no shape to fight, even if he tried. The Eligor chuckled darkly behind him, mumbling something about getting him alone.

joker attempted to stand up, but the pain on his back was too much. joker slipped on something, barley noticing it was his own blood. joker needed to get away but how? he cant without his tea-

"joker!"

_what_

_"_go! captain Kidd_!"_

_..what?_

"burn em! Carmen!"

_wh-_

_oh_

_oh no_

_oh nonononono-_

there one too many footsteps for joker to process, too many people calling his name. a loud buzzing and intense heat as all the jack was focusing on. Joker couldn't focus. all he knows is that the intense pain joker had faded into nothing, but Joker still couldn't get himself together. Joker heard the cries of the Shadows, then nothing. Joker wants to turn around, but he couldn't move no matter how hard he tried. joker didn't want to see them, he couldn't look at them. joker doesn't want them to see him so pathetic, so weak, joker didn't want them to know-

"Akira?"

the wildcard jump at the sound of Queen's voice. Joker didn't want to turn around, yet he did.

Joker turned his head and they were there as much as joker wished they weren't. worst of all, they all had expressions of concern, worry, and panic. Joker felt his throat go dry, he couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe. Joker huffed, taking slow and steady breathes '_don't panic, not here, don't let them know you're even more pathetic_'. Joker gulped, it was tense, so tense joker could cut it with his knife.

"So" joker jumped, turning around to see Queen staring his with her arms crossed, never a good sign. "do you mind telling us why you're in mementos? alone?" she asked, Oracle nodded her head too quickly "y-yeah! you could have at least told Mona or me that you were goin'..." Oracle stuttered from behind queen. Joker gulped, looking down at his shaky hands...he..he feels as if it's getting harder to breathe, maybe because it was...maybe because the subway was suddenly too loud..

joker blinked, realized they're waiting for a response, and truthfully, Joker didn't have a good one. "i...didn't want''" joker paused, choosing his words carefully "...to..to bother you" Joker said, then attempted to stand up, using the wall for balance. Joker huffed, shutting his eyes tight, wishing he wasn't so light-headed

someone- no, skull mumbled series of curses. he's upset, joker can tell.

"you know, rest days usually apply to all of us, including you" Panther grumbled, "What are you even doing here? we have no requests." Morgana asked when joker opened his eyes, he saw Mona walking up to him with an angry expression. Joker bit his lip, should he lie? "i..needed to find something, it's only in mementos" Akira murmured...it wasn't a lie...

Queen raised a brow "and you didn't bother asking us?"

joker shook his head, "as I said, I didn't want to bother you.."

Noir sighs and walks up to him. "Akira, you realized you're important to us...right?" she mumbled in a soft tone, placing her hand on Joker's shoulder.

Joker blinked, he looked at her with wide eyes. <strike>_no, I'm not-_</strike>

Noir continued "if you need help with anything, you should have come to us. I don't mind one bit helping you" Noir said, her hand trailing down Joker's shoulder to his arm. Oracle nodded, walking up to him too. "y-yeah! y-you need to r-realize j-just how important y-you are!" Oracle stuttered, her face bright red.

joker heart flutter, joker couldn't breathe

fox hummed "indeed, you helped us with so much, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay the debt, " Fox said while crossing his arms and looking down with a soft smile.

joker needs to cough

"why is it so hard for you to understand we love you?" Panther as- _wait_

"what..?" joker asked, _they don't mean that do they...? what if they do? what if Akira can finally breathe-_

"your our leader, of course, we'd love you" Skull grumbled, bitterly, _<strike>almost disgusted</strike>_

joker's eyes widen, and he couldn't hold back the urge to cough anymore, it hurts too much. (_<strike>theydontlovemelikeilovethem)</strike>_ Joker began coughing, really hard.

"j-joker?!" someone asked, joker immediately covered his mouth, feeling so many, so many petals fill his mouth. joker crouched down trying to hide the petals in his curled up body, but they were falling out of his hands already. tears threaten to fall, Joker shut his eyes tight as he coughed, and he tasted metallic. Joker can hear the rest calling him, someone was holding his shoulders, but he can't focus

Joker moved his hands from his mouth to catch his breath. joker was completely unaware that there was a petal stuck to his lip, and blood dripping from his chin.

there was silence..until someone spoke.

"Akira....you...have _Hanahaki?"_

_ah, shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: i wanna write a fluffy PolyThieves Fic!
> 
> also me: cute! can we make it depressing!?

**Author's Note:**

> If your curious about what each flower means;
> 
> Ryuji ; Yellow Orchids; Friendship, Joy, and new beginnings
> 
> Ann; Amaryllis ; determination, radiant beauty and pride.
> 
> Yusuke ; blue Aster ; Inspiration, hope, and beauty of things.
> 
> Makoto ; Gladiolus ; Strength of character, honor, and conviction
> 
> Futaba; Lily of the valley ; Sweetness, humility, trust, and return to happiness
> 
> Haru ; Magnolia ; dignity and nobility. (In ancient China, magnolias were the symbols of womanly beauty and gentleness)
> 
> Akechi ; Asphodel ; "my regrets follow you to the grave" and bitter sorrow.
> 
> (A Linaria Bipartita means "Please notice my Feelings/Love for you" )
> 
> i am not sorry :)


End file.
